In the vast fabric of Hindu mythology, the story of Rishi Yayati, whose insatiable thirst for youth brought his son to ruins, echoes through the ages as a warning against the menace of parental selfishness.
Cursed with untimely senescence, desperate Yayati pleaded with his sons to exchange their youth for his decrepitude. Yayati’s inexorable pursuit of interminable youth came at the cost of his youngest son, Puru’s dynamism. This mythical tale finds its purchase in the fertile soil of reality. Just as Puru watched all his dreams wither on the vine, many children live a shattered life, overshadowed by the weight of filial duty. "Children aren't coloring books. You don't get to fill them with your favorite colors."
- Khaled Hosseini
The Stream of Unhappiness: When Parents Choose Path for their Children
Budding from well-intentioned, but misguided force in their lives, children often find themselves stuck in a whorl of misery. For the sake of their parents' broken dreams, children break their wings, making them vestigial for the rest of their lives.
They become ostrich...
Having these unrealized wings that can't be used to fly is the worst kind of pain that some children get from each haploid set of genomes.
While walking on the ground, these children watch their wings, with which they could have measured the sky. Their light wings become the heaviest burden that they have to carry till the end of their existence.
These wings might not serve the intended purpose, but they can still be held out to balance whenever you are ready to run, or maybe suddenly change direction of your life!
Etheric Cords - You can either break free from them or break with them
Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you can’t.
In literal words, Etheric cords are invisible threads that bind together the members of a family into a complex, poignant web.
The invisibility of these cords renders them the power of stenosis. You can imagine how these insidious wires can anneal a psychological trap, leaving the members tethered in emotional autonomy.
It will still take years for this society to normalize the fact that a person can choose not to stay in a place where there’s no real love, no real connection, and be somewhere they belong, not because they were born there but because it is their family of choice!
It is crucial to understand that the concept of a family extends way beyond blood relations. While most people may find solace in their biological clan, others might get a sense of belonging from somewhere else.
So, fear not if you ever find the sneaky grip of these bonds and break free intrepidly!
Over- Pampering
When seen from the outside, it's hard to differentiate an over-pampered child from a choking one.
Parental love stands as a bulwark for the children against the adamantine life. While the intention of parents here is indubitably pure, this shield of protection inadvertently precipitates the seeds of dependency that sprout into adulthood.
You can’t expect a child who has been spoon-fed entire life, to know what and how to eat when the time comes.
As these children grow into adults, they carry with them a burden - an expectation that the world will treat them with the same level of care. Now they end up being trapped in their dependency, not knowing how to navigate life without their sheet anchor.
Parents need to understand that they need to foster resilience, not dependency. Instead of removing stones from child's path, walk with them, show them how they can overcome obstacles, and help them grow up into self-sufficient adults.
Selective Pampering
For the sake of honesty, let’s just stay clear of the notion that parents don’t have favorites!
Every mother chooses her own Arjuna and Karana!
For reasons incomprehensible, parents often bestow their favorite child with love and care, leaving the other ones confused and discontent.
While this skewed distribution of affection erodes the identity of the sidelined child, it does not fill the path of the favored one with flowers either.
Conscious decision
Negativity is so normalized that being correct is heroism.
Let’s talk turkey. Parenthood is a conscious choice, not something to be glamorized as a noble pursuit. If you are responsible for bringing a life to its existence, raising it isn’t an albatross.
If a plant somehow fails to grow into a healthy, fruitful tree, do we blame the plant for being a failure or the person who could not provide the requisite conditions for its growth?
A bad father is still a good father. But a bad child is the worst child.
Bad parenting is like a shutter embroidered with discipline and etiquette, that nobody ever cared to unveil.
Wrapping up, while these overwhelming family bonds can throw a wrench into a child’s life, it's not all gloom and doom. By keeping the lines of communication wide open and respecting each other’s boundaries, these impliable, suffocating etheric cords can be morphed into the resilient nexus of the family.
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